Since I've started this blog, I keep having random thoughts pop into my head about things I'd think I'd like to write about. I even had to put one into my phone in the middle of the night last night.
I've never been a writer (I've mentioned this before), so this feeling of having a thought that I'd like to get out of my head and down on paper (or blog) is new. I have never really been able to connect fully with someone who mentioned something burning inside them and it just "bursting forth" onto the page.
I can't say that that will happen here, especially since these thoughts dance in front of me just long enough for me to smile, and then they quickly scurry off into the nether regions of my brain. Maybe if I keep at this things will settle into some sort of stack somewhere in my head. And eventually I'll find the pile and neatly go through it one memory at a time and watch astounded as "inspiration" pours from me. :)
However the thought of that makes me chuckle, because right now inside my head it feels much more like a scene from Love Actually. Remember when the author (played by Colin Firth) is sitting down by the lake typing and his housekeeper brings him a fresh cup of coffee. When she picks up his old cup to replace it, she discovers that he had been using it as a paperweight for his entire manuscript. The wind immediately blows most of the pages up into the air where they fall into the lake. There's no lake in here, so I picture my ideas just floating around scattered.
Up until recently the name of our wifi was "Scattered" because that was the only word that came to mind when the technician was at the house setting everything up. My husband eventually changed it, and I'm glad. I don't need to constantly focus on the chaos. And believe me, there is plenty of chaos. Chaos often has full run of this house, so we don't need to give it any more props than necessary.
I'm going to focus on finding that stack of thoughts. Or better yet, maybe I'll just focus on trying to get a stack started to begin with. We'll see if I can't eventually get the scattered feeling to disappear and replace it with something a bit more calm.
I just keep telling myself to be present in the present moment. Focus on now and take a deep breath. I forget this all the time. NO, I am going to rephrase that more positively. I'm going to work on remembering to be calm and present.
My freshman year of high school I became friends with an amazing person She has been wonderful friend for many years. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this to her, but she had a very positive influence on with with regards to stress and hurrying. I learned from her that getting in a hurry when you are late doesn't do anything but make later. When you rush, you mess up and that makes things take even longer. I think I learned to be event oriented rather than time oriented from her (much to my mother's chagrin). Whenever I feel myself stressing, hurrying, and rushing I try to take a breath, recall her calm energy, and let some of the angst go.
So . . . breathe in, hold, exhale (4x). I'm going to focus on walking not running; being not doing; honoring not ignoring.
And none of what I just wrote was any of the thoughts I'd had earlier. I'll let you know when the pile starts to take shape. ;)
Oh, and I did finally get out with my real camera (only for about 5 minutes, but at least I wasn't trying to drive) and take a couple of shots of fall color. Maybe I'll share a couple of those soon.
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