A pain in my . . .

This evening I went to a mindfulness class at my church.  I was not in the best of moods due to being on the phone with multiple moving companies today getting quotes.

(I really do not enjoy this part of the moving process at all.  After several lengthy phone calls and being told by each sales person how the other sales people at the other companies were all just trying to rip me off, but they were legit, I felt like everything was too expensive and everyone was out to pull the wool over my eyes. I was irritated and exhausted.)

I had missed multiple classes in the last couple of months due to scheduling conflicts and was determined to go tonight. However, I have to admit, I had to drag myself there.

I kept waiting for the tiredness and irritation to pass and for me to feel pleased that I had come, but that didn't happen.  I was tired and uncomfortable throughout the entire class.  But since it was a mindfulness class I did my best to just sit with the tired and uncomfortable aches and pains, and frustrations.  The teacher actually opened the class up saying something along the lines of, "If you notice discomfort try to really pay attention to it.  Don't try to change it.  Just notice it and be with it."

I was,  just being. I didn't have the energy to do much else. I gave in and instead of fighting to get myself in a better mood, I just let the irritation be.  I took my deep breaths and just sat there with the tiredness and discomfort.  I just kept listening to the teacher and returning to my breath.

The silent meditation was more of the same, still aching and irritated and I'm pretty sure I drifted in and out of a light sleep a few times. Oops :)

During the discussion time my neck and jaw were hurting and I was having a difficult time finding a comfortable way to sit.  I focused on really trying to listen to what the others were saying and just let my neck be my neck.

After the final closing prayer I was sitting on the floor chatting with a friend as we rolled up our yoga mats. I felt a sudden pain on the side of my right knee and remarked that it felt like I had just been stung.  I pulled up the leg of my pants to see a red welt.  My friend commented that it was most likely from the wasp that was now crawling on my sleeve.

My friend rescued the wasp from me.  I was temped to squish it, but I held back, ya know, cause I just finished a mindfulness class.  She quickly removed the bug and let it go outside.  I walked to my car, my skin crawling, hoping there were no more bugs.

Definitely not the best ending to a mindfulness class!

Then it happened.  Before I was even out of the parking lot I noticed that I felt better (stinging pain, aches and discomfort, and all).  The thoughts I noticed floating through my head went something like this, "It's just money.  Stop stressing about paying for the move. Stop worrying about being 'taken.'  You can save up again once you are settled in TX.  Stop stressing and just see it as an investment in your future.  It's gonna be alright."

I felt a smile show up on my face.  I was surprised.  I was happy to notice the surprise.

I drove home paying attention.  A pain in my neck.  A pain in my knee.  A smile on my face.

It's gonna be alright.