Today I sat with fear.

I am learning how to live mindfully.  Part of this process is practicing mindful meditation.  I sit in quiet, checking in with myself and seeing what comes up. "What do I notice most in my current field of awareness?"

I sit upright in my bed.  I cross my legs.  I stretch my neck.  I take a couple of breaths. I place my hands on my thighs and relax my arms.  I drop my shoulders. I breathe again.  I notice.  I listen.  I breathe.

I feel the grip of fear.

For me, in my body, fear grabs a hold of the center of my chest.  It's a tight, heavy feeling, as if something is squeezing and pressing down heavily on the center of my sternum.

I take a deep breath and find myself focusing on expanding my chest in an effort to apply a counter pressure. Then I breathe again, this time without effort.

I don't want to fight the feeling.  I want to notice what fear feels like, for me.  I don't like the feeling, but it's there. I don't wish it away.  I don't feel afraid of the feeling.  I feel it.  It's what I notice the most, right now.

I breathe.  I notice my heart beat.  I breathe again, and again, and again.

I sit for 20 minutes.  I breathe.  I am present.

Today I sat with fear.