One Of These Days

Some day soon I'll find time to actually sit at my computer and blog. This is being done from my phone and it's a bit tedious!!!!

Life continues to happen much too quickly and I've missed writing. I'll get to it again I'm sure, just not sure when.

Until then I'll "just keep swimming, just keep swimming. . . " And I'll remind myself and everyone else that "it's always darkest just before dawn." And "behind every cloud there is a silver lining." And "we're all in this together." And yes I kind of can't stand those cheeky little sayings, but sometimes life shows you those sayings became so well known for a reason.

And as far as that 'all in this together' stuff goes, I wouldn't have it any other way!!! I'm stuck like glue to the main title of my blog, 'come walk with me the journey is long.'

This is a (insert preferred descriptive word here) long journey and the only way we're gonna make it is if we're hanging in there with each other. So thanks again to all of you who are walking with me and who allow me to join in your journey too.

l keep saying it because it's just so incredibly true, I have the best friends in the world. I am eternally grateful!!!

And just in case you are curious, I'm still going with the going gray plan and still loving it. I'll post an updated photo next time I'm at my computer. I have not figured out my new phone enough to do that with my blog yet.

Life is Good

It's been a few weeks since I last carved out time to blog.  There has been a lot going on here and I feel like I don't sit still for very long.

I can hardly believe that Christmas has already come and gone.  It seems a bit like a foggy dream.  I can remember it happening but it feels more like I just woke up and I'm trying to catch the details of the dream before they fade away.

We had lots of delightful times with my little family and friends over the holiday break.  And I'm wonderfully grateful for all of those times.  However, this was the first Christmas in my 40+ years of life that I didn't see my parents or sisters during the holidays.  It was a little weird.  I missed them and I think that is one reason it maybe doesn't feel like the celebration should be over just yet.  :)  It's like a part of me is still waiting for all of them to show up in order to fully complete the holidays.

It was also my first christmas without any grandparents still living.  I really missed my Grandma B. this year.  She passed away in August.  The kids used the stockings she had crocheted for them and that made me smile.  I have also been wearing the tan stocking cap she crocheted for my oldest a couple of years ago.  I wear it anytime I go out or just get a chill in the house.  It feels like she's a bit closer this way.  I miss her.

We stayed home this year and had friends here with us the entire time.  We played lots of games, watched a few movies, and did a bit of sightseeing.  Mostly we sat cuddled up around the fireplace enjoying hot chocolate (or coffee) and catching up.  Christmas day was a big pajama party.   The entire break was peaceful, wonderfully peaceful.

And now it's 2014.  I can hardly believe that 2013 is over.  I'm excited and hopeful for the year to come.  I feel more hopeful than I have in a long time and that is an amazing feeling.

I'm also really enjoying the 'going gray' process.  My natural hair color is a little more than an inch long now.  I do not feel old and haggish at all, but rather quite excited.  I feel more authentic and proud of my gray.  I'm excited to see my natural color instead of the fake color.  My natural brown (mixed with the gray) that I still have is so much darker than the color I was putting in.  I always liked my normal hair color.  I'm a little ashamed to admit that I ever colored my hair at all.  I wish I had been brave enough to just let it go gray the first time around, but hindsight is 20/20.  ;)

I took these today sitting in my living room, snuggled in my cozy pink robe.  I stayed in my pj's all day again today.  I slept very late (thanks to those here who distracted my little one) and didn't really do much of anything.  We warmed up leftovers of soup, chili, turkey, and veggies so no one really had to cook.

2014 is off to a quite start.  I feel rested and ready for the new year.  I'm sure everyday won't be quite.  I'm pretty sure I'd get bored if that were the case.  I'm looking forward to continuing this journey.  I'm eternally grateful for all of my amazing friends traveling along with me.

Life is good, Friends are better!  :)

Serendipity

Life had been barreling by at mach speed.  There have been a tremendous amount of things going on around here lately.  One moment it was Thanksgiving and then suddenly it's the middle of December and we're less than two weeks away from Christmas.  My head is still spinning in one direction from all the chaos, while the room spins in the opposite!

But in the midst of all of this pandemonium there have been some amazing things happening.  Some have been little, others huge.  I'm finding myself rather overwhelmed by how clearly Spirit, God, the Universe, Life, Love, Light, or whatever you choose to call is clearly speaking into my life that things are headed in the right direction.  It really has been miraculous.

I've been wanting to find a quiet moment to try and at least list some of the things that have been happening and I've finally found one.  My oldest has a practice session this morning and it's just far enough away from the house and lasts just long enough that I decided to find a coffee shop and wait it out.  So here I sit, spinach and provolone quiche almost devoured, sugar plum latte-of-the-day cozy in my hand with a couple of quite hours to spend sitting wonderfully still!

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!

I took a moment and glanced back at my calendar to compile my list.  I'm sure I've missed many of the little things along the way.  I'm beginning to see miracles everywhere.  Instead of wondering if miracles actually happen, I'm starting to look for moments when something miraculous isn't happening.  In the depths of chaos and confusion I'm learning to see that life is full of miracles and I am incomprehensivelly grateful!

My (incomplete) list of Miracles-over the past couple of weeks

train ticket, leaving just the right time and just the right price
easy parking close to everything
amazing weather for December sightseeing
finding time for a massage
getting things mailed just in time
difficult conversation well received
important phone call made just in time
parking lot spot that is your favorite number
bumping into the right person at the perfect moment
learning about another person who really understands
parking meter paid to the minute
vacant parking spot downtown right in front of destination
finding something extra in the bottom of your purse
a stranger caring and going above and beyond the call of duty
peace of mind
car handling snow storm perfectly
truth prevailing
good news delivered kindly in person, when a phone call would have sufficed
a perfectly timed snow storm
seeing the perfect poster, with exactly the right (uncommon) words, in exactly the right place
meeting with the right person
a stranger's willingness to help
being heard
help from a friend to get much needed rest
a small gift from a stranger to make life easier
phone calls received at just the right moment
speaking with a stranger who decides to care, and help
information at the perfect moment
helpful friends showing up during stress-filled moments
remembering who to call at just the right moment, and having the actually answer
caller id and unblocked numbers
friendly, helpful, patient county employees
friendly, helpful store employees
perfect timing

There are more.  I know I've missed many many miracles.  But I am extraordinarily thankful for what each of these miracles mean to me.  Each came at just the perfect moment and helped me to continue to have faith during some very difficult times.  

I've run out of time.  Practice is almost over.  I should probably edit this post and polish it, but alas . . .

Hopefully you'll find your own list of miracles!!!!  Thanks again for walking with me  :)

Chaos in the Journey

Sometimes life just doesn't want to cooperate very well.  Sometimes things go great and other times it feels like it's all going to hell in a handbasket!

For me things are going pretty well, but for an amazingly dear friend of mine there is a massive uphill journey that she's facing.  It's not going to be easy or pretty, but I know she's got the strength to endure and conquer.

I chose the title of my blog for a specific reason.  We are on a journey.  It's always gonna be a long one (much like the entire webpage title of my blog:  comewalkwithmethejourneyislong.blogspot.com) but it's always better when we have others to journey with us.  My friend and I have journeyed together for many years.  She means so much to me.

Some of the most difficult days of her journey lay directly ahead, and I'm grateful to life and the universe for allowing me the chance to walk along beside her.  If you have any extra energy, love, prayers, or hugs to share please feel free to send them my way.  I'll be sure and pass them along to her.

Many times this life just plain sucks.  I'm eternally grateful for those of you who are walking with me.   I am happy, truly happy,  to be walking with you.  When we need a lift it's always nice to have people. When we have people, there are plenty of us to help carry the load.  

It's all good!

Another Thanksgiving Day has come and gone, and I'm thankful (get it) that I can say the day was wonderful.  :)

I started my day around 7:30 when my Little One came into my room to let me know she was hungry. I grabbed a banana (her choice) and quietly plopped her down in front of the tv, turning on PBS.  It's a holiday (for crying out loud), and I wasn't ready to get up at 7:30!  I was very thankful for PBS kids programing.

I drug my self back up stairs and crawled into bed.  I tossed and turned for a couple of minutes with thoughts of un-roasted turkey, dressing, pies, and necessary oven space bouncing around in my head. After a few more minutes, I found the necessary energy to once again remove myself from my snuggly bed and head down to the kitchen.

Once there, I figured out how I wanted to roast the bird, pre-heated the oven, and slid the turkey in. I quickly realized that since the bird was tucked in and cozy warm it that sounded like a pretty good idea for me too.  I returned again to the snugginess of my bed and crashed for a couple more hours.  It was glorious! ;)

I rejoined the land of the living around 10ish and began more prep for the upcoming meal.  My mom is here visiting (very thankful about that) and we had twelve others planning to join us for the day.  I was excited to be hosting Thanksgiving for the first time in this house.  We had it all planned out. 

• Fire in the fireplace 
• turkey in the oven
• coffee brewing
• apple cider at the ready
• basement set up with toys for the five kiddos 
• den ready for the big kids
• snackies in the dining room to hold everyone over until meal time
• more pies than is ever necessary

Friends began arriving around 2:00 and we took our time pulling everything together for the meal.  It was a marvelously relaxing, cozy afternoon.  We sat down to eat around 4:00 after having the kids share things they were all thankful for.  We have a thoughtful group of kids.  ;)  

Adults gathered around the big table.  Big kids sat at a side table. Little kids did a picnic on the floor in front of the fireplace. We ate.  We talked.  We laughed. 

I am thankful for a loving family (those who were with me today and those far away), for amazing friends, for joy, for hardships, for life, and love.  I am blessed, extremely blessed.

Just as one group of friends were leaving (around 8:00 p.m.) another set, who had been delayed due to bad weather, arrived.  The holiday continued!  Family and friends through the rest of the weekend.  

Life is good.  

Wild and Precious

I blinked and the week is gone.  It didn't really pass that smoothly, but looking back, it's all a blur!  I swear I had to have slept through a couple of those days (or at least sleptwalked through them).  Is that a word - sleptwalked - ??  I'm not sure, but it works here and I'm not taking the time to google the proper way to spell the past tense of sleepwalk.

As far as the hair thing goes, I still have a head full of it (multicolored, but full).  ;)

I think you can see a bit more of the natural color showing up.  ;)  YAY!!!

Since I didn't end up frying it with the Color Oops I was not brave enough to just chop it off.  And once it was curly again (and lighter on top) I decided I liked my curls too much to get rid of them.   Plus, I'm sort of enjoying the idea of being able to see just how much new growth I get.  I'm excited by the ability to compare my old colored hair with the new clean stuff.  So for now, long locks it is.  ;)  We'll see if I get irritated and eventually mutilate this mangy mess.  But for now, all is well.

I feel honest and present with my natural hair color growing out, and I'm thoroughly enjoying this feeling.  I was not sure what I had expected to feel.  I don't know that I'd given it much thought, since the idea to grow out my gray hair sort of sneaked up on me all of a sudden.  I had given lots of thought as to why I was coloring it, lots of thought as to why our culture pressures women to remain looking young, lots of thought about the ethics of spending so much money on outward appearances, lots of thought on lots of hair color related topics, but not much thought on how I'd feel once I had taken the leap.

Post leap, I'm really loving it right now.  I'm also fully aware that this could change, so I'm going to enjoy every happy moment.  ;)  I feel so much more authentic.  We all wear masks and construct walls. Right now it's like I just busted down a huge wall, mask discarded in the dust, face fully revealed.  It's good.  It's really good! I feel empowered and happy.

However, If I'm being totally honest, I do have to admit that I have paid more attention to what I wore this week.  When going out in public, I made sure to dress relatively nice.  The thoughts going through my mind were something like this, "Well at least if they see my grays growing out and I'm dressed cute, they won't judge me so harshly for letting myself go."

As much as I want to tear myself free from cultural pressure and norms, I find I'm still haunted by worries about what complete strangers might think about me.  I'm working on that, but not there just yet. It's a journey, ya know.  ;)

I went back to WellSprings congregation today and took my entire family with me this time.  Again, it was wonderful!  Definitely found my people.

It was their Thanksgiving service and the pastor read the poem below.

The Summer Day

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-- the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down--
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
Mary Oliver, The House Light Beacon Press Boston, 1990.

After he read the entire poem, he repeated the last two lines.  

What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

Then four members of the congregation each spoke giving an answer to that question.  The first speaker was a six year old boy, followed by a "20's something" speaker, a "40's something" speaker and then a "60's something" speaker.  The span across the ages was fantastic, but so much more amazing than that was the complete and total vulnerability that each speaker exhibited in sharing his/her story.

I was moved to tears multiple times during the service, both by the details being shared and the comfort and safety provided by such a warm-hearted community.  Love was apparent and that is a beautiful thing!

So I'm going to drift off to sleep tonight meditating on that question.  What it is I plan to do with my one wild and precious life?  

The final speaker today ended her stories with a quote that resonated with me.

“I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough..” 
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

I have not read The Notebook or seen the movie, but I'm thinking I might.  

Feeling all grown up

Spent some quality time with a good friend today.  :)  Feeling all grown up.  It's nice to be out of the house and talk about grown-up stuff.

As far as the hair experiment went, well . . . lets just say that it's not as drastic of a change as I was hoping it would be.  My roots are natural for an inch or so and then the color fades to an auburn, then to a dark brown.  Over all it's a bit lighter but does not have the "oh my goodness, what did you do to your hair???" factor I was hoping for.

In Color Oops defense, it clearly stated on the instructions that it really only removed the most recent color application.  It suggested that for multiple color jobs you would need to do multiple treatments.  I'm not sure I'll try it again, just not sure I want that much chemical on my hair.  You know, maybe in a month or so once I've been really kind to my hair for a bit.  

I took this picture just before I crawled into bed to blog this.  I only had about 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night (so over look the bags under my eyes).  You can sorta see the lightening, I guess.  It's not the best shot, but it's better than nothing.  The volume on top from my curls hides the actual gray some, but hopefully in a few weeks, it'll be growing out enough to really be seen.  :)

Also went to a different church this morning.  A good friend of mine attends Well Springs Congregation and I had been intrigued by her description of their services.  Decided I'd check it out today and thoroughly enjoyed myself.  Thanks ellebee for sharing the details of your place of worship!

peace